Flight Home

Waiting at schipol for my flight home...this will be 6 months since i was last home..
a little apprehensive about the flight, well and mostly about being home.
But the prospects of good food, family and ang pow is helping me stay on the flight.

Great...I get the cow herd of holland again on my flight. This is a phenomenon whereby everyday, normal dutch citizens get REALLY REALLY nervous and panicky when they have to fly or travel.. symptoms observed:
1. They all line up at the check in counter like it's for free diamonds , the queue is messy and LONG....why??
2. They are rushing at the gate to go through the detectors, they line up all the way around the corner, pass the toilets, down the travelator side and pass the other gate...while there are empty seats around in the waiting areas
3. Once they get through, they start to queue to enter the plane, even when it's not time yet...observes queue the goes all the way and joins up with that of the detector queue
4. Shoves and pushes through the aisle of the plane, and you get jams because 2 fat ladies like to stand IN THE AISLE for FOREVER to put their luggage, adjust their hair, etc etc
5. You sit, and your surrounded by sounds of BOE BOE BOE , because of course..the cows say boe in holland
6. You notice, if one cow turns, the others ALL FOLLOW at lightning speed.
7. You're next to a couple and the female cow, has obviously never been on the plane before, so whatever you move or touch or take during your flight, she will photo-copy you.
8. There is another old cow in the aisle, telling people he's a major etc etc, and talks so loud, that 2 attendants have to come and "forcefully smiling" persuade him to sit down , or else
9. You hear talk about travelling and being to places SO INACCURATE AND FALSE...you just don't know what to say anymore....how can people claim to be to places they have obviously never even been to before
10. You have no more elbow room even as you're on the aisle seat, because the cow next to you is so big, she takes your elbow rest, and on the aisle side, some cow is standing with her huge ass next to you, as she's chatting to the other cows mid-flight..

everyone go: BOE BOE BOE BOE BOE

that and 4 hours of turbulence on a 13 hour flight....
I got really really nauseous